Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Dr Curly’s Guide to a Healthy Rock Climbing Road Trip©

World Exclusive on Keeping up with The Joneses: 

Dr Curly’s Guide to a Healthy Rock Climbing Road Trip©


Dr Curly
Best selling author of Climbing Injuries and How I Survived Them, and Dr Curly’s Big Wall Weight Loss Program, self-proclaimed climbing health expert of many weeks experience, Dr Curly, brings you his latest self-help guide.

Iconic Route Bagged



The temptation proved overwhelming.... The skyline each night and each morning beckoned as we drove the short distance from the campground to the climbing in Indian Creek.  The Six-Shooter peaks stand there in the West, alone above the plateau of the desert, reminding me that there is more to climbing than one pitch cracks with bolts at top, however good they are.



So, after a few days of learning the ropes at "The Creek", it was time.  Lightening Bolt Cracks on North Six-Shooter the objective.  The first problem, the approach.  The Dark Star has fair clearance, but is not 4*4, and this mandated several miles walk in along the jeep road.  We didn't have a map, or any other further directions other than that there would (probably) be a cairn marking the start of the path up the scree to the base of the climbing.  Our luck was in, within 5 minutes of walking up the trail some jeepers stopped their pick-up and we rode in the flatbed for a couple of miles until they started driving in the wrong direction.  There's was the only vehicle we saw all day.



Amazingly there was a cairned trail up through various layers of steep sandy nastiness to the base of the climb proper, which we reached after another hour or so.

The first pitch is the supposed crux (5.11).  As has so often been the case in the desert, this proved to be misleading.  A couple of "thin hands" moves above bomber gear cleared the documented crux section within the first 10 metres of the climbing.  Sweet, I thought, as I cruised up the next section of "perfect hands".   Then came the "offwidth" (5.10).  Damn, no gear big enough and runout about 3 metres above my last decent piece.  The inevitable struggle and more bleeding and adrenalin followed.  But I made it to the first belay.



The second pitch, again 5.10, loomed.  After cruising many routes of the same grade in the Creek it came as a shock to the system as after several aborted attempts of getting off a little ledge 10 metres up, using a "tips crack" (fingertips), I had to resort to jumping for a sloping hold within the crack system. I'm sure a six-footer wouldn't have had the same difficulties! Did I then just blast to the belay?  I wish.  A few metres up came the "fists" section.  Too big to jam, even with "cupped hands" and too small to put in a proper fist jam, I had to resort to torqued fists as I struggled through the overhang, heart pumping and hands hurting.



The last pitch, starting at the apex of a cool overhang, about 100 metres above the base, was the easiest, and most dangerous pitch.  Naturally.  All was well until the last 5 metres below the summit.  Some way above dodgy gear in increasingly sandy and loose sandstone came the infamous "squeeze" (5.9).  So there I am way above the last piece of dodgy gear wedged in this flaring bottomless sand filled chimney squirming my way towards the summit using every single muscle in my body.  I find it hard to describe how glad I was to reach the top.  Stoked comes close.

The summit was of course worth it....


Monday, 15 November 2010

Top Ten Climbing Road Trip Dodgy Smells

So the cold nights are drawing in and this means that we toast ourselves next to a wood fire every evening (sustainably sourced wood only of course).  Consequently, everything we own and wear smells of wood smoke. Luckily, as odours go, this isn't so bad and it does a good job of masking a myriad of other not so pleasant aromas to which we've become accustomed on this trip.

Here's our top ten of dodgy smells:

10. Sun cream. Greasy and full on, although we have smelt less of the factor 40 recently!


9. Climb On. More grease. End of day hand moisturising ritual. Climb On, Dude.


8. Peanut Butter Clif Bars. Having lived on these high energy lunchtime snacks for 10 weeks, the smell is starting to get a bit nauseous.

7. Big Wall Bad Breath. Can get a bit stinky by day 3. Apparently toothbrushes are too heavy for the haul bag!

6. Fear. You know the next pitch will be tricky when your partner starts pumping out this odour!

5. Poo Tube. The chemicals in the wag bags somehow make the poo smell worse! Luckily, this odorous item has now been packed away.

4. Bivvy Ledge. Always stinks! (See Living on the Ledge)

3. Si's Climbing Shoes. I know I'm close to the belay when I catch a whiff of these - it's just amazing how I can still manage to hold on!

2.  Unwashed Climbers.  It's time for a shower when you walk past other tourists and they smell clean!

1.  Eau de Van.  When you open the van doors at the end of a warm day,  the combined aroma of all of the above assails your nostrils!  Pretty Whiffy - thank god for the wood smoke!

Thursday, 4 November 2010

Having a Cracking Time


With Simon injured, life in Moab was miserable! Our bike hire funds had run out and our passports were stuck in San Francisco so we couldn't escape. To make matters worse it had started raining. In the desert! Fancy that! We were forced to resort to the very British tradition of sight-seeing in the rain!

Then, we were rescued from depression by a text from Mike and Signe, the climbing Kiwis we had met in Yosemite. They were in town too. Over several beers we decided to escape the rain and head to Indian Creek - a place full of crack climbs - surely hand jams wouldn't hurt Si's elbows!
Mike and Signe.  They revived our climbing trip!


The next day as we drove south along the 191, the silence in the van was audible. Si was more miserable than ever. Now he wasn't just stuck in America and unable to climb, he was going to be stuck in one of the world's best climbing spots and unable to climb. "let's just give it a go" I said, "it's ok" he replied "I'll just sit in the campsite while you go climbing with Mike and Signe". Yeah, right. Like that was ever going to happen!

So here's some pictures of Simon not climbing at Indian Creek!
3am Crack
3am Crack, a little bit higher.

Really not enjoying himself on Pente
Crack Attack

Battle of the Bulge.






















The thing is - I really don't like crack-climbing. No style or grace, it's hard to dance up the rock when all four of  your limbs are stuck in a crack. Plus it's really painful! Unlike Simon, I don't enjoy pain! But I was willing to stay here and learn because at least Si could climb here and was no longer living under a black cloud. That's love, that is!

So here's some pictures of me learning to climb cracks plus some shots of the rest of the crew!
We're Jammin'
We're Jammin'
We're Jammin'
We're Jammin'
We're Jammin'
We're Jammin'
We're Jammin'
We're Jammin'
I Hope You Like Jammin' Too!
Welcome to America.  Welcome to the gun show!